i woke up to the glaring face of the sun this morning, my eyes hurting from the bright orb that showed through my small window. a few minutes passed and my vision adjusted to the intrusion of light. as i got out of bed, i only had one thought.

this is going to be a good day.

+ + + +

i've been itching to write something worthwile the past few weeks, but my mind just goes wandering everytime i try to do so. i guess i'm really not much of a writer, one that can go on for a good 5 or so paragaraphs of pure coherence and sense. i thought to myself 'then what the fuck am i blogging for?' then quickly realized something: who gives a flying fuck? i write for my personal enjoyment, not for anybody elses. sure, i feel flattered when i get comments but it's not like i'm itching for them.

the birth of this site 2 years ago was largely due to the fact that i wanted a place to unload my thoughts, my angst, my frustrations. over the years those emotions slowly ebbed away till nothing was left. now i'm in a happy place so i guess the entries reflect that side of me: stupid, senseless and downright silly. and anybody who knows me well can truly say how much i love silly.

+ + + +

some long-overdue thoughts:

• the simpson's movie was awesome.. if you're a fan. i doubt some people would say so after watching it. it was nothing spectacular, there was nothing new, and the humor was what it always has been. for me, this was a case of familiarity, and i had fun watching even though it felt like it was just an extended tv episode.

• ratatouille was a different matter altogether. although a bit long, it was one of the most funny and engaging movies i've watched this year. the film reminded me how passion drives all of us to try and be a better version of our current selves.

• the more i strive to work harder, the more work i find myself getting. i don't mind at all but.. i just don't like the way it eats up most of my time. last night i met up with friends i haven't seen in months and i sat quietly in a corner, when normally i would have been in the middle of every conversation. and i only had a bottle of beer! a BOTTLE! i mean honestly, that's just fucked up!

+ + + +

as i was finishing up this entry, i saw the sun hide behind a thick swirl of cloud. the brightness that accompanied my morning disappeared just like that, replaced by the gloom and threat of impending rain.

yup. a good day indeed.

i haven't been updating for quite some time now. not that i lack of things to write about, it's just that i am in that mood again where i can't construct a decent entry no matter how hard i rack my useless brain. i guess you all know where this is going so without further ado..

• wow, my blog's 2 years old now. 2 years worth of bitterness and silliness, a rollercoaster scenario all encapsulated within this little corner of cyberspace.

• i tried doing a new header for my blog but i can't seem to put it in correctly. i still use the old skool blogger language of HTML btw.

• of course "old skool" means "that's the only thing i remotely know how to use". i don't want to move to another blog server because.. well just because. i guess you could say i'm sentimental that way.

• yeah i know. you're a fucking sissy as well.

• so if any of you wants to help me do HTML, please do. i'd greatly appreciate it. i'd be indebted forever.

• been sick since the weekend. i think i need to take some vitamins. wooteva.

• after much trepidation, i finally gave in and downloaded the seventh harry potter book, deathly hollows. much like what i did when the sixth came out, i have been reading it practically nonstop eversince and i must say, it's been terrific so far. i'm on the 26th chapter already. 10 more to go.

• still haven't watched harry potter's movie, despite my desire to do so.

• ..so it kinda sucks that they're showing "ratatouille" and "the simpsons movie" now. it'll take me practically forever to see all 3 of them.

• 1st year anniv with the gf is coming up. we were planning on going to boracay to celebrate but being the poor boy that i am, the plan isn't going to push through anymore.

• sometimes i hate the fact that i am not as successful career-wise as i thought i would be at this age.

• with that said, i am planning something else for the gf and i hope she loves it. since she reads this blog of mine, it's impossible for me to share the details of the said plan with all of you. like you care anyways.

so there. now i go.

me and karen went to see "zsazsa zaturnnah: ze muzikal" at the RCBC plaza last night. i know she had been dying to see it eversince she read the comic book about a year ago so i decided to buy us some tickets as a partial birthday gift to her.

we arrived at the theater 30 minutes before the 8pm show. a lot of the patrons were already there, and what surprised me the most is the number of heterosexual people who were in attendance, mostly couples who looked like the guy was dragged kicking and screaming against their will by their girlfriends.(baby, you know i ain't one of them right?) that isn't to say tho, that the number of homosexual people were outnumbered. no. far from it. i felt like i was in a gay pride convention. they came in all shapes an sizes, all manner and demeanor. i almost felt out of place.

i haven't had that much experience watching stage plays, but not for lack of interest. it just seemed like i was out of the loop so to speak, not really coming across any news about that particular segment of the arts. i think the last thing i watched was shakespeare's "a midsummer night's dream" way back when i was in highschool. i too have read the ZZZ comic book but it wasn't really thinking about it as the lights dimmed, signaling the start of the show. what happened next could only be described as magical. it was all there: the giant frog, the amazonistas and their exaggerated introductions, the transformation of ada to zsazsa, and of course the crass but witty dialogue (with a few adlibs thrown in by most of the cast.) it made me remember why as a kid, i always enjoyed acting in school plays. you held the audience at the palm of your hand, awaiting every single bit of nonsense that comes from your mouth, and the characters did just that. it was so funny, so original that i found myself laughing out loud a little louder than usual, even in the musical numbers (not really a fan of it, andrew e and his movies ruined it for me) which were to a degree, at the risk being redundant, very original. the actor who played didi was the scene-stealer of the play. whenever he came out you can be sure of a hilarious moment. the actor for ada was terrific too, bringing the perfect balance of gayness and vulnerability needed for the role. kaye brosas played zsazsa, which in my opinion is a better choice than eula. (who, incidentally, was there. rawr. wasn't able to take a pic tho.) damn, even the stage and the props had character. that swivel door was just genius.

ada
didi
zsazsa zaturnnah
congratulations to all those involved in the play.

had dinner earlier tonight with the cousin and the gf over at new bombay near the RCBC plaza (which roughly translates to 'i don't know the exact location of the resto, even the street it's in so yeah.')


the place is nicely built, with a spacious, well-lit interior and clean surroundings. the menu doesn't deviate from the usual fare i see on other indian-themed eateries but the chicken masala, butter naan and some empanada-like veggie treat i consumed (also, by 'consumed' i meant 'eat voraciously without regard for self-esteem') was just so sumptuous that i quickly forgot my resolve to eat less during evenings. i left the place sweaty and smelly, but happy.

+ + + +

a conversation while smoking outside after having dinner:

cousin leo: guys, what does 'aum' mean in the resto logo?

karen the gf: i dunno.

cousin leo: i know! it's what the indians say when they meditate! (does a meditating pose) 'AUM'!

me: wrong cuz. ano yan, para pag me nagtanong sa yo kung saan ka kumain. sagot mo 'AUM... sa new bombay.'

cousin and gf: *groan*

(so okay i had trouble constructing the title of this entry, only to find out that i shouldn't have worried about the grammar but the CONTENT. apparently indians have every right to the swastika. because i love being an ignoramus, i've decided to keep the original title amidst the heavy evidence that is history. power to the people!)

last week was really crazy here at the office so the recent long weekend was welcomed by me with open (read: desperate) arms. i have this uncanny ability to tune everything and everything out for the sake of r&r (baby, if you're reading this, i'm still sorry about our aborted monday date. it wasn't intentional. really) and my plans for a mini-hibernation for 3 days was no different.

now there's only so much sleeping and lying on the couch anyone can take before feeling the pangs of boredom gnawing at the pit of their stomachs and sad to say, i felt that restless state too. too tired and lazy to go out, i settled on having a "24" marathon with my dear sister and uncle. i had seen the 1st season of the show but din't really follow the next ones so when my uncle brought home a complete 1-5 DVD set, i thought it was best to reacquaint myself with jack bauer and the rest of the CTU gang. i had forgotten how engaging and fast-paced the story was, how dynamic the characters are, not to mention the twists and turns that makes you feel like you're riding the rollercoaster from hell. i finished 2 seasons in 3 days (2 seasons = 48 episodes = roughly 40 hours of viewing out of the 72 hours) and hotdammit i am hooked. again. so much in fact that i even got that gay CTU ring tone on my cell. (my sister and my friends at the office have started throwing me dirty stares because everytime my phone would ring i would answer with "this is bauer")

24's mike novick and WWE's finlay: twins?
anyways, i am planning to spread my watching habits a bit, because a) i've been lacking sleep because of it. i get home around 12-1am, and watch till 3 or 4. b) "heroes" isn't showing until september, and i can't think of another series to watch in case i finish all 5 seasons already and c) i'd like to practice discipline. i wanna see how long it will take before i eat the marshmallow in front of me. (obscure reference about EQ. if you don't get it then sorry) actually, i wanted to start "supernatural" at first but i stopped myself because i was too much of a sissy. i'd rather not be able to sleep by watching something interesting than staying up just because i'm too scared to sleep. yeah i know. wuss.

now i go.

spent this saturday night lounging at home with the sister and a friend and we got to talk about self-worth. not a good topic to start when you're bored and on your 3rd bottle and brimming with reservations about your significance in the machinations of the world. i dunno what the fuck it is with me and alcohol, but i discovered that i make more sense when intoxicated, able to string together ideas and concepts while using big words such as "depreciation" and uh, ok, "machinations".

in my drunken stupor, i have again realized how utterly pathetic my life is, especially when put side by side with the lives of people who belong to the same batch as i.

now given my inebriated state as i'm typing this, i have gotten a new resolve, to strive harder to make my life the way i envisioned it to be. i'm 27 and i'm not getting any younger. time to make plans for the future. my future.

anyone out there who gives a damn, please remind me of the stuff i strongly stated on this post in the coming days. i'm sure as hell that i won't even remotely remember any of this tomorrow. i mean later. wuteva.

no updates till my head is cleared of cobwebs and irrationalities.

had an interesting conversation with a cab driver who drove me home earlier from a friend's birthday party. we were talking about philippine politics (because everybody knows i LOVE to talk about it. oh, and i turn into a pink dragon. with green fangs. once every month.) and he had loads of radical theories about our "leaders" and how this country should be run. it was only after 45 or so minutes of babbling that i realized he was abso-fucking-lutely out of his mind. case in point:

idiot driver: dapat dito sa atin i-ligalays na ang mga baril para wala na mag-abuso! kung lahat me baril pantay-pantay na! EHEHEHEHEHEEEAAAAAAWWW! (sinister gay laughter)

drunken me: (not really paying much attention now because of agitation and a moderate buzz) boss, di ba mahirap yun kasi lalong dadami ang mang-aabuso?

idiot driver: hinde! kasi isipin mu.. yung mga mag-aabuso, pag me kinawawa sela, isang baril lang patay na sela! maubos man mga gagung yun! EHEHEHEHEHEEEAAAAAAWWWAHAHAHAW! (even more sinister gay laughter)

exactly my point, you ass.

he raised some more idiotic points and everytime i tried to reason with him, he cut me off. tired, drunk and irritated, i din't bother to try and reason with him anymore. i gave him the obligatory, standard "uhuh" and "opo nga e" replies till he shut his fucking mouth.

why do we always put the blame on someone else whenever shit happens to us? sure it's possible that every goddamn politician here in the country filters money from government funds and taxes. sure it's possible that there isn't one honest person holding a goverment position today. BIG FUCKING DEAL. that isn't enough reason to sit at home and point fingers while you sulk over your pathetic life.

god, imagine millions of voters like him trooping to the polling booths tomorrow.

okay as i'm writing this i am still trying to get rid of the bad taste spiderman 3 left in my mouth. i got to see it last sunday and well, it left me terribly disappointed. everything was just fucked up. i wrote this comment on one of the threads about spidey in highfiber as a reaction on the movie:

"...i scored it half half. a lot of good things, a lot of bad ones too. i guess it pretty much goes without saying that i abso-fucking-lutely hated emo spidey. i was half-expecting him to belt out one of my chemical romance’s songs. ugh. they should have concentrated more on BLACK SPIDEY beating the crap out of ordinary thugs. that would have been more cool. also, i hate the way the spider-sense was eased out. it is always on for chrisssakes. it’s one of the most awesome things about the webhead. also, it would have made for a better venom. see, in the comics, he was the only one among spidey’s villains that din’t trigger it; that was one of the things that made spiderman so afraid of venom (aside from the fact that he’s BIG and UGLY.) i am really REALLY hoping for spiderman 4, if only to make up for the blunder that was 3..."

i also din't like: sandman being the "real" uncle ben killer (and his "i'm sorry" speech at the end was just LAME), venom's wussiness and him looking like a malnourished elephant (and why the hell din't he refer to himself as 'WE'? idiots.) this movie reminded me why previous comic-to-film translations failed. all hype, no substance. maybe it's because i am a friggin' fanboy why this din't do it for me. i keep expecting every one of them to stay true to the comics.

(sudden reality check: movie-mad mobs outnumber comic geeks. guess which market the producers will cater to?)

shut up, brain.

oh well. but, being the optimistic person that i am (aside from the fact that i am really a sucker for commercial movies), i am still hoping that the upcoming films from the genre will turn out to be good, especially since the news i read about them here in the net have been promising:

* "transformers" looks decent enough to check out.

* saw some of the the "iron man" promo pics and the armor looks hella cool! i don't like robert downey jr. playing tony stark however; the only thing they have in common is alcohol addiction.

* a "hulk" sequel/prequel is soon to start filming this year, and will star edward fucking norton as banner and liv tyler as betty ross! how awesome would that be? from what i read, the movie would concentrate more on the jekyll/hyde struggle of banner rather than the trash we all saw the first time around. whoever cast norton is a fucking genius.

if the people behind these upcoming films get to read this, please please PLEASE don't ruin the geeky dreams of this comic fanboy?

i went out this morning to check out the magazine stall near our place for the latest issue of UNO and FHM and i saw this baby in the grocery beside it.


finally they came out with winston lights 10's! perfect for people like me who wanna quit smoking! (of course quitting by continuing to buy more cigarettes is completely retarded but wtf. moderation is key.)

cheer me on friends! nicotine-addicted people like me will have better progress with the help of a steady support group. trust me. i read that somewhere.

(if this entry doesn't make sense to you, forgive me. i am currently dead-ass drunk as i am typing this nonsense.)

* i made a new record! i went to work last monday at 11:30am and i got out EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING at 4am! that's 40 hours, boyo. all in all, i was able to sneak in a grand total of 4 hours of sleep in between working, eating and hallucinating (i kid you not) so you can just imagine what state i was in. it felt like i was running on autopilot, my mind was gone as i was absentmindedly tapping away at the keyboard and fidgeting with the mouse. the only consolation i had was a surprise visit from karen, who went to see me tuesday night, on the eve of my birthday. she gave me her "pre-gift": a 10th anniversary edition comic book of calvin and hobbes, which i am a big fan of! yay!


i got to read the first few pages already, which consisted of notes from the author, bill waterson. what he wrote made me remember why i used to have this dream of becoming a comic book artist (maybe i still do.) it made me think of putting up my own mini-comics to be serialized here in my blog. i hope i find the time to do it. it kinda sounds exciting. =]

* i know it's hot commodity for some, but i am getting sick of the whole james yap-kris aquino-hope brouhaha. why people find fascination in the scandals in the lives of celebrities is beyond me. it's gotten way out of hand, what with the media adding the proverbial fuel to the fire. get the news out, talk about it for a week, then move on guys. there are a lot more issues that are more important than marital infidelity. say, for example, the latest act of insanity by pop princess britney spears. i read on the paper that she was heard shouting "i am the anti-christ!" by the attendants at the rehab center she's staying in right now.

see? showbiz scandals pale in comparison to news about the impending doom of mankind and the end of the world.

* bes is about to leave anew for butuan this sunday, but i'm guessing he won't be as lonely as before. reason: he got a new housemate!


francis is a pomeranian toy dog. that means he'll stay as small and as cute as he is today. i'm glad bes got him. at least francis will keep him company when he's all melancholic and stuff. cute li'l bugger ain't he?

* mom is gonna come home again! she wants to be here in time for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary on april 1. she says she'll be bringing my kid sister katlin with her. another yay! =]

* me and my friends drink often. most of the time, we do it by tagay, which means pouring bottles of beer in a pitcher with ice, and pouring the contents of said pitcher into a glass which is then passed around. now, what's weird about it is everytime we have a session, the ice we used that's left inside the pitcher (the kind you buy in sari-sari stores) takes on the shape of a fat dick in heat and i was thinking why this happens. i came up with several theories:


1. drinking is stereotyped as a male activity, thus the ice weiner is a symbol of said fact;

2. drinking excessive amounts of alcohol turn the drinkers into pricks, thus the shape. and;

3. drinking insane amounts of alcohol inhibits one's sexual capacity. thus, the ice weiner represents a graphic warning, pertaining slightly to the inability of the male member to cooperate fully when intoxicated (ok, i'm reaching here.)

thank you for taking part in this experiment i would like to call "a drunk man's uncontrollable need to babble incoherently".

excuse me. i think i'm gonna hurl.

i went to the dentist this morning to fix my right molar whose filling came off about 3 months ago. yeah i know, i should've brought it there sooner but i somehow wasn't able to find time for it. after cleaning the said tooth and inspecting it, the doctor told me she put some sort of tooth-grower under the temporary fillling and told me that if the meds don't work, i'd be looking at a 2nd root canal operation. yikes. my head swam with scenes of me in a dentist's chair while a crazed attendant drills my mouth with all sorts of scary-looking needles. then he'd go crazy, swinging the instruments of death around till he hits my gums or my tonsil or tongue while blood spurts healthily from my gab-hole. *shudder*

while we're on the subject, i thought of other, more crappy ways to die:

1. drowning in a toilet bowl - here's the scenario: you come home to your small, dirty apartment obscenely drunk. you head straight for the bathroom to puke on the toilet bowl, after which the toilet seat comes crashing down on your cranium while you're hitting the flush. your head gets stuck with the suction effect created by the swirling water and you drown. relatives who discover your bloated body see bits of puke and crap in your eyes, nose and mouth.

2. grated and trampled in an escalator - you're in the mall when suddenly the sound sysytem announces a bomb scare. you sprint to the nearest escalator and go down, only to be pushed by some middle-aged lady carrying groceries with 2 kids in tow. you fall and your shirt gets stuck in the teeth of the escalator while the frenzied mob tramples on your bloody carcass. then the kid whose mom pushed you in the first place does a beckham and kicks your head while shouting "outta my way loser!"

3. suffocation - you're riding the MRT filled with tons of people at high noon when suddenly the power goes out. you wait but no help comes. people start getting restless and hot, and they try to forcibly open the windows and the door to no avail because the heat of the sun fused it shut. due to the rapid decrease in oxygen and the heat, the people inside the train suffocate. you die with the strong smell of BO of the sweaty sando-clad man next to you lingering in your nostrils.

hey, it can happen! it's as realistic as these clips i happened to stumble upon while browsing the net yesterday. click HERE to view MAXIM's 10 best horror movie deaths. a warning though, these are not for the weak of stomach. but, if you are one of those people who get some sick, morbid pleasure out of watching other people die horrific, brutal deaths, then you'll love these.

god i hope dem meds work.

extended work hours can be such a drag.

especially when it rains.

even more so if you don't have the prerequisite raingear.

double the hassle if you live a good 2 hours away from the office.

triple the hair-pulling frustration if your girlfriend and friends went on a night out and you weren't able ta join 'em.

bummer.

sometimes i don't believe how lazy i can get. i tend to gravitate more towards the easiest, most convenient stuff, oftentimes at great cost, which is pretty ironic when you think about it. of course, the recent drought of projects here at work doesn't help any. it's like for the past month, i am being paid to go to work and surf the internet, smoke, and listen to my mp3's. i don't wanna be a hypocrite and say that i don't like it, but sometimes idleness sucks. i have become too lazy for my own good that i have even staretd wearing a cap everyday just to avoid styling my mohawk, longing for the day that i can go back to my long-ish, no-fuss wash-and-wear hair.

i need a shot of adrenalin. now.

"sabi ng mga lola ko, masama daw maglaro ng kandila kasi mag-iihi ako..."
no electricity. no cellphone. no cable. no gimmicks. milenyo came and went, leaving a path of unspeakable destruction behind. never in my life have i seen a typhoon that wreaked as much havok as this one did, leaving much of luzon literally in the dark in its wake.

hope y'all are okay.

the words flowed out freely, unbidden, with an ease that surprised me. it was like i had been holding back all this time, and it actually felt good to release some of those pent-up emotions.. at the same time, it felt scary. like i din't care if i hurt her or not. i have been down that road before, and i don't wanna go back. all it did was paint an ugly picture of who i was, of who i could be once more if i don't control myself.

but that is not me.

not anymore.

i won't let myself become that person again.

...after 2 days of staying home and staring at the walls (or the TV screen, whichever is applicable LOL). i came down with god-knows-what, i'm not really sure. all i know is that i felt weak, i had headaches and a slight fever along with colds and coughing. add the fact that my tooth was aching like crazy. i sound like a sissy, no? haha.

screw you.

now, when one gets sick, boredom is inevitable. let's face it, you can only watch so much TV, and it's not advisable to keep stuffing yer face with whatever edible thing you see at home. you can't very well go out, for obvious reasons. i ended up thinking about stuff in the confines of my room, something that i haven't been able to do lately. i came up with a few ideas and realizations. some were new, some were old:

* i am more creative when i am depressed. case in point: i haven't been doing any photomanipulation/photoshop works in a long time. i haven't been able to write too; hence the lack of "substantial" entries here in my blog. i should feel worried, but surprisingly, i find that i am not. i guess i would rather be insanely happy than creative but sad.

* i have a love-hate relationship with my hair. there are times when it looks okay, but nowadays it just, i dunno, looks like a mass of unruly waves and curls. i am planning on getting a haircut on saturday, and i am leaning towards getting a short cut. well, not that short i guess. a mohawk would be nice. at least it'd be different.

* the past has a weird habit of sneaking up on you, no matter how hard you try to escape it. or forget. it's all just a matter of perspective i guess, how you'd handle such instances.

* lately i seem to be getting sick often. a little too often. i guess i should try and lessen my daily nicotine intake. build up the old immune system. i'm not getting any younger.

god that last line was so, so sad.

* i am doing absolutely NOTHING for my future. well, financially that is. i dunno why, but eversince i could remember i have been a 15/30 kind of employee. i'm not that extravagant. i don't usually buy stuff i don't need. how come i can't save up?

so there. the musings of a bored and sick individual.

ho-hum.

apparently, being flexi-time at work has it's disadvantages as well. i shit you not.

i have spent the past couple of weeks working till the wee hours of the morning on our latest project, stopping only to breathe, drink water and stretch my tired arms and legs. the result is a cranky, sleepy individual with little time for R&R.

don't get me wrong though, i actually crave the the tasks given to me. what makes it difficult is the tight deadline we have to meet, what with the client's ficklemindedness resulting in numerous revisions. some people in the same industry as me would say 'tis but normal, but what the hey. i'm relatively new at this and besides, i can rant all i want, right?

i came in late today, at almost 4pm, anticipating another late night. surprisingly, there seemingly isn't gonna be one. some of my co-workers are still finishing up, while the stuff that we already sent the client (which, if i know, are out of the office and headed home already) are awaiting further revisons and comments.

i do hope i can get out early. now the only thing left now is to wait till the clock strikes 8pm, the designated acceptable time to vamoose.

please don't let there be any last-minute hassles.

the countdown begins NOW.

tick-tock.

tick-tock.

saw this article on the news recently, and i thought i'd just share it with you guys. apparently, some guy has taken to calling himself "pricasso", and started painting surprisingly good portraits in acrylic. he believes he is the world's first "penile painter".

check out the article HERE

i wonder.. how many strokes does he take to finish?

his portraits i mean. LOL

+ + + +

below are some of the stuff i overheard recently from friends and friends of friends:

"asan na yung baga ko?" (dencio, looking for the 'pritong baga' pulutan one drinking session at home)

"ubusin mo nga yung iyo!" (dencio again, urging ohme to finish his tagay)

"alex, kinain mo ba yung itlog ko?" (karen's officemate ali asked his companions over lunch)

"ang ikli na naman ng iyo..." (kaye, castigating perry for putting up a short 'wall' during mahjong)

of course, i have my share of boo-boos too:

"eskie, mani mo nakabukas baka kumunat!" (upon seeing my officemates' merienda of peanuts in the pantry)

"nald, bakit nakababad sa suka yang itlog mo?" (during lunch)

"gusto nyo longganisa? ayaw ko na nung sa kin e.." (again, during lunch)

out-of-context quotes are so funny.