the words flowed out freely, unbidden, with an ease that surprised me. it was like i had been holding back all this time, and it actually felt good to release some of those pent-up emotions.. at the same time, it felt scary. like i din't care if i hurt her or not. i have been down that road before, and i don't wanna go back. all it did was paint an ugly picture of who i was, of who i could be once more if i don't control myself.

but that is not me.

not anymore.

i won't let myself become that person again.