why is it that whenever i try to write stuff nowadays, i end up staring at a blank wall? it starts out as an idea in my head, which usually comes when i'm commuting or daydreaming or doing my thing in the john. i try to compose my entry word for word, try to figure out which sentences go where, make imaginary cross-outs, the works. then, when it's finished and i try to sit down and physically write (type) it, i realize that my "notes" are gone.

take this morning for example. i was on my way to work and i thought of writing an entry about the passing away of an officemate's mom and how i felt during the wake and shit. i was pretty sure i had all dem details down. i got to the office, did a few of my projects and when i was finished, i tried doing my entry. nada. zilch. what was supposed to be a pensive, serious piece (subjective, with the stress on supposed) has been replaced with this incessant, unecessary and whiny rant. it's so frustrating that it isn't even funny anymore.

before, whenever i had free time, i would just open my blogger account and let the words flow. it was spontaneous, tongue-in-cheek and, if i do say so myself, mildly articulate. (again, this point is subjective. feel free to tell me otherwise) nowadays my blog's contents just have silly pictures that have stupid captions. i mean, what the fuck is up with that? i feel like i've stepped down a couple of rungs in the evolutionary ladder of creativity. i used to fancy myself as somewhat of a below-average, at the most decent writer. now i'd be happy if someone hits me with a "you're okay" compliment.

god, i'm starting to sound like a whiny bitch.

happy weekend folks.