groundhog day

Thursday, August 04, 2005

another day.

i get up early (early is subjective) and take a bath. i eat my breakfast before leaving, brush my teeth and head out. i board a monumento-bound jeep, yung sa me wise hotel ang baba. i wait for the bus along with dozens of other commuters. i finally climb up a maluwag bus (again, maluwag is subjective) and get down at SM north to wait for a quiapo-bound jeep. i sit at the right side, kasi yung morning sun sa left side. i get off at pantranco, climb the overpass and cross, pagbaba bili ng yosi for the rest of the day. i walk to the office, where i spend almost 10 hours of my day designing, clowning around, eating, surfing, chatting and reading stuff. i head home, board a muñoz-bound jeep, and get off at EDSA to ride a UE-Letre bus. i get off at potrero, and wait for a malabon jeep. i get home, eat dinner, and watch TV afterwards. i head to my room a few hours later, and try to get some semblance of sleep. when i wake up, i do the same thing all over again. yadda yadda.

what's wrong with this picture? i feel like i'm reliving each day of my life over and over again. am i doomed to redundance? sure i know it's my choice.. pero walang starting point e. i need that certain push to try and change my life. i'm 25, and i feel i haven't accomplished anything yet. hell, most guys my age have high-paying jobs, cars, a house, and a family. what do i have? by the time i get what i want i'd be too old to enjoy them.

i feel lost. i envy those people who go out every night, who go out of town or out of the country. i envy the people who do something worthwile. the young director of a teleserye. the young enterpreneur who runs a million-peso juggernaut of a company. the 24 year-old businessman who drives an eclipse. the kid from that famous band. even the pompous bastard who sits in his big house all day and counts his money.

it's not about being filthy rich anymore. it's about making a difference. taking a big bite outta life. being someone. i'd hate to be the mediocre guy who dabbled a bit in everything when i'm old and gray.

i remember the time when i was a kid.. when i first realized i wanted a job that involved doing and making art. i was so sure i could; i was sure i'd make a difference. now 2 decades after, the feeling is like another lifetime away; it feels like it belongs to some other kid's dream.

maybe i'm just not cut out for this shit.

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4 comments

  1. you think you're life is boring and routine?! try Law school! :P damn! i envy you already for every inuman etc... i am totally DEPRIVED.

    (words of wisdom: the key to success in any venture in life is ACCEPTANCE. - Assistant Solicitor General Amy Lazaro-Javier) :P

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  2. wanderlust junkieAugust 4, 2005 at 8:19 AM

    heheh...kaya mo yan kid! i actually felt that way in my first job..then , wala to hell with it. it pays the rent, the money you need to live, so there.

    inom tayo when i get back!

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  3. i'm not complaining guys.. i am thankful i earn even a little so that i can have money to spend. it's just i feel like being a graphic artist isn't me anymore. it feels like i'm no good at it.

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  4. one day at a time... one day...

    you're a helluva great artist larry. and i don't give out such comments that easy. :p

    carpe diem!

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