weekend whiner

February 23, 2007

why is it that whenever i try to write stuff nowadays, i end up staring at a blank wall? it starts out as an idea in my head, which usually comes when i'm commuting or daydreaming or doing my thing in the john. i try to compose my entry word for word, try to figure out which sentences go where, make imaginary cross-outs, the works. then, when it's finished and i try to sit down and physically write (type) it, i realize that my "notes" are gone.

take this morning for example. i was on my way to work and i thought of writing an entry about the passing away of an officemate's mom and how i felt during the wake and shit. i was pretty sure i had all dem details down. i got to the office, did a few of my projects and when i was finished, i tried doing my entry. nada. zilch. what was supposed to be a pensive, serious piece (subjective, with the stress on supposed) has been replaced with this incessant, unecessary and whiny rant. it's so frustrating that it isn't even funny anymore.

before, whenever i had free time, i would just open my blogger account and let the words flow. it was spontaneous, tongue-in-cheek and, if i do say so myself, mildly articulate. (again, this point is subjective. feel free to tell me otherwise) nowadays my blog's contents just have silly pictures that have stupid captions. i mean, what the fuck is up with that? i feel like i've stepped down a couple of rungs in the evolutionary ladder of creativity. i used to fancy myself as somewhat of a below-average, at the most decent writer. now i'd be happy if someone hits me with a "you're okay" compliment.

god, i'm starting to sound like a whiny bitch.

happy weekend folks.

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2 comments

  1. i must say, you're funny La! =p hmmm i have always called those moments as "dry spell". nagkakaganyan din ako paminsan eh. tipong nasa dulo na ng dila (ng daliri kung itatype =p) pero hindi pa masabi. then before you know it, the thoughts and ideas weren't there anymore. kaya ngayon nagdadala na ako ng pen wherever i go. para pag may naisip, sinusulat na. don't worry La, right timing lang siguro. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. elaine: i really dunno what's happening. if you've read some of my past entries here, you'll know what i mean when i say there's a BIG difference. :(

    i wanna write, dammit.

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