my happy thought

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

"do you know the place between sleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? that's where i will always love you. that's where i will be waiting."
-tinkerbell to peter pan, "hook"

i am trying to find my happy thought.

yesterday, i got to watch "hook" on cable. for those of you who don't know it, it's the story of a grown-up peter pan. he kinda din't go back to never never land, forgot about his past life as he grew older and ended up marrying wendy's granddaughter and having 2 kids. one day hook came and kidnapped his children, and he was forced to go back to never never land with the help of tinkerbell, teaming with the lost boys once more against the pirate villain, in the process rediscovering the kid in him. it was fun watching peter struggling to remember who he was. there was a time when he was trying to fly once more. tinkerbell told him to think of a happy memory, and all he could think of was his sad memories. tink then told the reason why he couldn't find his happy thought was because it was buried underneath a lot of sad ones.

the movie hit too close to home. which brings me back to my opening line. i am trying to find my happy thought. a monumental task, seeing as i don't have much reason to smile nowadays. everything seems so muted, subdued. it feels like i'm moving in slow motion, and the world is passing me by. i am going through the motions of life, neither here nor there.. my bittersweet memories pinning me on the ground like an invisible weight. all these prevent me from flying once more.

it's hard when your happy thought, the one that's supposed to make you soar through the skies, is also the source of your melancholy.

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  1. so well said larry. its hard when the source of your happiness is the same cause for the heartbreak you're going thru.

    hang on dude, there'll be better days.


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