i went out drinking again last night with some officemates. it was jr's birthday last tuesday so naglibre sha ng pizza for dinner, and then he bought a case of san mig light. he, jair and i were supposed to drink with the warehouse people here in the office, but they ended up doin' OT till late in the eve, so we had no choice but to finish that case by ourselves. haha. saya. i din't know how many bottles i had. jair and i left the office by 11pm, i think. i was home by 12:15. a few minutes later, i was fast asleep.

then i had this dream. a weird one at that. now, i don't usually remember my dreams, so i just wanted ta write this one while it's still fresh, while i still recall what happened..

i was at home, sitting in my usual spot and watching TV. i remember being hungry, or thirsty or whatever, so i stood up and walked towards the kitchen.. the surroundings changed. i was now walking along the beach. all i could see was the long stretch of white sand before me (since the only white sand beach i've been in is boracay, i assume it is. i dunno. not sure) i was walking.. feeling the soft breeze in my bare skin, the wind messing up my hair.. it was almost sundown, and the rays of the setting sun cast yellow orange shadows. i looked towards the waters, and i saw a girl walking towards me. i couldn't really see her face, for it was framed by the sun's golden rays.. she had longish hair, and she wore a bikini top and a white skirt. i walked towards her, feeling drawn.. i wanted to keep on walking, but somehow i found myself in front of her, just a few feet apart.. i instinctively smiled, and though i couldn't see her face, somehow i knew she was smiling too. i notice for the first time that she's wearing pearl earrings.. i held out my hand to her, and she began, tentatively to reach for it.. suddenly, she was gone, and i was in a different place once more. i looked around, and there were colorful lights, loud music, and people dancing.. i saw a vague semblance of the beach too.. a bar, perhaps? a bar.. in bora? i can't really tell. i walked purposely to the bar to get a drink. the place was crowded; i had to push through body after body of swaying people.. then, as if by magic, i saw her again. she was wearing the same top and white skirt. i was frozen in place as she walked over to me, slowly.. i still couldn't see her face though.. but i din't care. somehow, it felt so right. i took her hand, and this time she din't hesitate. i led her to the dance floor, and we began to dance slowly.. our bodies seemed to move as one in tune with the music. i moved my hands to the small of her back and her waist, and i could have sworn i heard a quiet giggle. i looked down, trying to find her eyes, but it was so dark. i held her chin up, and slowly tried to kiss her, but she slowly pulled away, as though she were doing it with remorse. i tried to pull her back in, but she was moving further away from me.. i tried to follow her, but it was no use.. she was gone, her lithe form getting lost in the sea of people around us. i looked around, trying to find out where she went, when i saw someone looking at me from the bar. i felt strange, as if i knew he was watching me since i danced with the girl.. i made my way through the sea of unknown faces until i reached him.. and i was startled. it was like looking in a mirror. the guy watching me looked exactly like me, except he had tears in his eyes. i din't know why, but i wanted to say sorry.. finally realizing why he was looking at me and the girl. i reach out to touch his shoulders, to apologize.. and then nothing. i was already awake. the dream had ended, leaving me disoriented. somehow it all felt so real.

it felt weird. i have been thinking about it since this morning.. what did it mean? was it because i've been wanting to go back to bora since i've been there? who was that girl? why were we dancing? why couldn't i see her face? more importantly, why did the guy in the bar look like me? pfft.

well, it doesn't matter anyway.. the dream is over. finished. you can't relive dreams.. though a part of me still wishes i could.