growing up
January 12, 2006the other day, i woke up and found myself with an urgent, almost desperate thought.
i need to grow up.
the idea seems deceptively simple, yet it takes an almost superhuman effort to actually go through the painful process. more often than not, people are quick to dismiss the need for it to avoid countless self-analysis and the unfamiliar feeling of being solely responsible for yourself. most of us are actually content just sitting back and letting situations and people control our lives. we should realize though, that this passive attitude can only take us so far, which is exactly what is happening to me right now. events in recent weeks have forced me to reevaluate the way i live my so-called life, in a way that makes it almost impossible for me to stay stagnant. i have been carefree for too long that i fear the cold grip of the past has finally caught up with me, haunting my every waking moment, giving me the unenvious task of making potentially life-altering decisions.
honestly speaking, the gravity of the situations i face presently scares me. i've never been one to actually be irresponsible and reckless, but like all of us, i could've been more mindful of things, more responsible in handling myself. i can't do anything about it now though, the only thing left for me to do is to face it head on, make the best decisions given the unfavorable circumstances, and live with the consequences, good or bad. no ifs and buts about it. if there's one thing i'm thankful for though, is the fact that i found out how blatantly optimistic i was. always have been, i realize now. i still don't believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but i know now that whatever i do, whatever i decide, i'm going to be alright.
in life we are dealt cards, and we have to make the most of our hand. we may not like the repurcussions, but hey, nobody said life was easy.
shit happens.
12 comments
this entry has got to be the best one that you've ever written, well..at least for me, for that matter. because it's dripping with raw emotion and pure honesty.
ReplyDeletei feel for you, La. but y'know, that's just how the cookie crumbles. and life isn't just about getting things your way all the time. i know you know that. just be brave. and ready yourself for this one hell of a ride.
i'm just here if you need to talk =)
shit happens. oh yeah...it does. hang in there... it'll get easier. =)
ReplyDeletethings happen so we can learn from them and and eventually grow stronger through them...that's the purpose of shit...i guess...but you know yourself better than anybody else and nobody's leading your life but you...just know what you want and go for it...^_^
ReplyDeleteyou are never dealt with cards, nothing and no one outside of you caused the situations you are faced with, once you take full responsibility of your life, you would understand that there's no such thing as accidents, you brought it upon yourself and the good news is-only you can undo it too.
ReplyDeletelove ya la.
wow. the post was wonderful that i do not know how to respond to this. but yeah, there will be a point in our lives where we will have to say goodbye to our childish ways and be responsible.
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend! :D
shit happens. yeah. but you know what? I don't think you have to grow up. you can be as carefree as you are and still be able to handle shit for as long as you want. but know something else? it isn't shit if you don't take it that way. :D
ReplyDeletethanks by the way larry. :)
i so agree with you, we're not getting any younger and we should start taking life seriously. oh well, kelan inuman? hehehe ano nga ulit entry mo? Grow up? hehehe
ReplyDeleteremember that jesse line in before sunset?
ReplyDeletewe are all learning from the complications of life, la.
and things will get better.:)
good luck mehn. kaya mo yan!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteyeah, i need to grow up too.. kinda act so stupid this past few months.
ReplyDeletenice entry. i guess most of us 20-sumthings are going through a lot these days. and knowing that sh*t happens to people of all walks of life kinna makes me feel uhm, less special. And it's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteHold on to something, or someone. It will get better.
PS: i have the luxury of time tonight so i'm stalking people thru their blogs. i will be your avid stalker from now on and i wish you stalk me back. *cue psycho sound FX.*
larry... awww.... i felt nostalgic upon reading this entry... really, i remember our late night discussions about such topics and just about life itself. i miss you orange zebra... :')
ReplyDeleteand you know, i shared (prolly not as much) the same joy when your mom and kate went home to be with you and your grand parents for the holidays... i remember we used to talk about those stuff too...
i learned so much from you, you know? you are really a permanent stain (and a beautiful tye dye-esque one) in my life. :)
i'm just gonna comment this one time but i read most your blogs..it's always a treat to read your "ramblings".. :)
boyf's coming in a bit and i'm gonna have to get ready soon, s'why i'm making tipid on making comments haha..gotta get offline fast.. lol..
my friend (taking M.A. in CSB, my boyf's highschool barkada) said he'd love to work for YOU (for their ojt), not YOUR COMPANY or your TO BE company. he really liked your work and you too i guess.. :)i showed him THIS. hehe. cause you're clever like that people are endeared to you. lol..
see, you are so easy to love <3
miss you badly... :')
do take care of you and your celfone! hehe